Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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