Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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