So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Someone shattered a urinal.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
