what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
