I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Randomize
