Well apparently he's into motor boating.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Randomize
