Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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