So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Randomize
