that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
