i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
