I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
