I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize