i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
