his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
