So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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