no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
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