omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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