so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
