It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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