still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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