I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
