Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
