no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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