It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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