i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
it was like eating out sand paper
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
