put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
