Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
