Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
