I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
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