I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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