She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
