Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
