yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Randomize