I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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