Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I have surprise drugs for everyone
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
