It's like a parade of train wrecks.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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