I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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