yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Randomize
