I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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