Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize