Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
