you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
