just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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