Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
