Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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