Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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