toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
