I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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