I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
