PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize