her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
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