If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
you would pick up someone in the library
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize