Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
Can I color on your dick again?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Randomize
