Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
Randomize
