You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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