Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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