He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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