CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
