I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
