Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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