your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
