He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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