Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
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