i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
