You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize