No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
