He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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