How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
