they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
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