Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
