a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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